Just Ask Jenna Looks At Judging Yourself

by Jenna C, ’26

Dear Jenna, 

I’ll be feeling really proud of something I worked hard on, like a high grade or a salary increase I finally reached. But then I see a contemporary doing something bigger or more impressive, and that good feeling disappears almost immediately. Even though I know I put in effort, I start wondering if what I did actually mattered. Why does other people’s success make my own feel smaller?

From,
Second-Guessing My Wins

Dear Second-Guessing My Wins,

That feeling is more common than people like to admit. When you work toward something and finally feel proud of yourself, that sense of accomplishment can be real and well-earned. But the moment you compare it to someone else’s success, especially your contemporary, it can suddenly feel less meaningful, even if nothing about your own effort actually changed.

In economics, this connects to a reference point. A reference point is what your brain uses as a standard for judging how well you are doing. Instead of measuring your progress on its own, you start comparing it to what you see around you. When someone else achieves something impressive, that moment becomes the new reference point, even if it has nothing to do with your original goal. As a result, your own accomplishment can feel smaller, even though its value has not changed.

This does not mean your success mattered less. It just means your perspective shifted. Taking a step back to remember what you were aiming for in the first place can help you see your progress more clearly, without letting someone else’s achievements define it for you.

Best of luck!
Jenna 

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